We’re Your Caramels from Three Christmases Ago, and It’s Very Unclear If We’re Still Good
We figured you just weren’t hungry or something, considering how often you used to snack on us.
Tag: Food
Nelson Family McRibmas Newsletter
Just goes to show you what 520 calories and 24 grams of protein per sandwich can do for your kids.
Are You Getting Enough Protein, Bro?
How many grams of protein do you consume each day? What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t you count your macros, bro?
As the Man Who Cooked This Hanukkah Dinner, I’m Best Suited to Deal with This Salmonella Outbreak
A brief mea culpa from me: as the lone cook of this dinner, I cannot help but feel that I have to bear at least some responsibility for this.
I’m a Gourmet Pepper Mill Who Doesn’t Belong at This Thanksgiving Dinner
What’s that they’re talking about now? "Where’s Aunt June’s fun dip?” The fuck is fun dip? Christ in heaven, this is Thanksgiving!
The Only Thanksgiving Topic We Can’t Discuss: The Cornucopia Grapes
Nothing good will come from yelling about whether there’s a glue spot on the plastic pear that indicates where a neighboring bunch of muscats should be adhered.
In Defense of Drinking Gravy
Thanksgiving is one of the few days that I can gather with my family, eat a huge plate of delicious food, and pound back six or seven glasses of gravy.
The Ultimate Best Toastiest Toast Recipe of ALL Time, Seriously, by à la Katie
You came here to read a Les Mis-length exposition on a one-step recipe from an expert in rural boho chic.
This Country Music Star Is Not Apologizing for Stealing Your Lunch from the Office Fridge
Trent Dribbly is a gale-force wind of fresh air with his unapologetic attitude about stealing leftover food from coworkers.
Feast Finder: The New and Improved Way to Order Food!
Wow, Pete! You ordered a lot of food. Did you skip lunch again?
Hey, I Was Out on a Run and Saw You Sitting Here at Brunch
I’m so jealous of guys like you who can just sit at a table like this for hours and hours without literally moving a muscle—must be nice.
Prepare for Your Mouth’s Ecosystem to Be Decimated by Our Daring New Doritos Flavors
Everyone’s favorite sauce now in chip form! Hot Hot Hollandaise has a triple dose of cayenne for a thoroughly throat-scorching encounter.