A Guide to Determining Whether You Should Take Your Child to the Emergency Room
When do I get paid again? What is your payroll schedule? Do you get paid weekly, biweekly, monthly? How close are you to your next paycheck?
Tag: Future
What Your Sign Says About the Bear That’s Going to Eat You
Taurus: The Seneca Park Zoo believes they don’t need a sign telling people not to swim in the polar bear enclosure. You will prove them wrong.
Today’s the Day We Finally Fulfill Those New Year’s Resolutions!
Breakfast is key. I’m thinking an egg white omelette, a couple slices of toast with peanut butter—wait where did you find a Gogurt?
I Invented a Time Machine and, No, I Can’t Kill Hitler
It’s made to sound like I would rather keep my time machine than kill Hitler, but it’s not a question of choosing between the two.
Welcome to Orangetheory Fitness, Where We Push it to the Limit, And Then, Like, A Whole Lot More After That
We simply weren’t burning enough calories. That’s why we swapped it out for High Intensity Forever Training (HIFT).
How to Imagine Yourself Running (and Writing) in a Foreign Country
Step 21: Start by googling quotes about running, a weird number of which are from the Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami.
New and Improved Musical Instruments for 2019
When you're giving CPR and their mouth is stuck petrified in an O-shape, so when you blow it makes them whistle.
7 Fun & Flirty Head Injuries to Find True Love
Dizzy from the amount of sudden cardio of hiking, wobble, and then get hit in the head with a drone, the impact sending you down a sharp embankment.
Some of the Ways I Have Prevented George R.R. Martin From Finishing “The Winds of Winter”
One time I told him I heard a rumor that there was a dead body in the woods and invited him on a hike to see if it was true.
I Have a Passion for Ecologically Restoring the Habitat of the Beast
Wetland restoration is about creating a clean, oxygen-rich pit so that a seven-headed behemoth might emerge from its depths and enslave us all.
A People’s History of My Failed Marriage
Power concedes nothing without demand, Janet. No longer will you say that I drank seven guitargaritas at the Tampa Hard Rock Hotel & then wet myself.
Where I’ll Meet My Soulmate, According to Romantic Comedies
Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.