I See Something in Your Past, Present, Future, or Not At All
The name starts with an A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N---yes, I see you nodded in agreement---I mean my psychic premonitions confirmed it.
Tag: Future
Updating Christmas Stories and Songs for the Modern World
"It’s A Wonderful Life": George and Mary’s kids, Pete, Janie, Tommy, and Zuzu, all die because George and Mary refused to have them vaccinated.
Five People on Your Holiday Shopping List Who Would Want My Copy of “Timesplitters 2”
Your Rabbi: The Talmud teaches many things, but it doesn’t teach how to destroy the attack helicopter on the roof of the “Oblask Dam” level.
Journal Entries Show That Henry Ford Invented the Weekend in Part Because He Loved to Get Wrecked in a Major Way
October 1st, 1926 “Automobiles are fine, but Partybots are the future. I don’t understand why my investors are mad.”
Alternative Wedding Rings for Alternative Couples
Oh, this is one of our newest and my personal favorite lines: rings made from melted-down scooter wheels
How to Peg Your Partner: A Step-by-Step Guide
After the kids are asleep and your partner has put the Kindle aside, remark on the lack of sexual activity between the two of you. Your partner yawns.
Man in 1888 Photo With a Metallica T-Shirt and Cell Phone is Not a Time Traveler
I mean what kind of shitty time traveler would quantum leap wearing a “Wherever I May Roam” T-shirt from the most kick-ass thrash metal concert ever?
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
How Writers Throughout History Have Beaten Their Writer’s Block
Lewis Carroll (1832-1898 CE, Writer): An early adopter of a classic writer’s block cure, Carroll’s method was simple: drugs.
Your Horoscope Based on the Demon That Has Possessed Your Body
Once again it is that time of year when the hosts of Solvil go absolutely crazy. Everyone has that time of year where they just lose control!
I’m Furious About What’s Happening in Our Country But I Have a Doctor’s Appointment On November 6th and Can’t Make it to the Polls
Until I can vote over Instagram, voting's just not going to fit into my schedule of work, doctor's appointments, and scrolling through Instagram.
How to Tell If Your Catcaller Could Be the One
If he’s willing to stand behind his declaration of love for your “sweet ass,” then odds are that he’ll also be into a committed relationship.