7 Winter Recipes That Aren’t French Onion Soup
German Shallot Stew: Wait… this is a little too similar to French Onion Soup. No worries. We’ve got plenty more recipes!
Tag: Guides and Listicles
Latest Demands in the Ongoing Hostage Negotiations Between You and Your Toddler
Bath time shall last a minimum of three hours or until I’ve shriveled to one-half my natural size. ABSOLUTELY NO HAIR WASHING.
Seven Pieces of Art I Purchased for Our Hotel That Resulted in Long Emails from My Boss
My boss said guests don’t want to see “gray smudges” while enjoying their complimentary light breakfast. I said they would once they read the essay I left by the bagel station.
Choose Your Own Adventure: Holiday Uncle Edition
Conspiracy Theorist Uncle: You’re the King of “doing your own research,” so you don’t have time to throw the ball around with your nephews.
Reviews for That Bar Where the Bartender Makes You a Drink Based on Your Personality
A shot of rum stirred into a pint of Guinness? Last night I tossed and turned, cogitating on what type of person this drink might fit.
Dos and Don’ts of Post-Pandemic Etiquette
DON'T: Share hats. Lice? Yuck. DON'T: Cough on your boss. This is a show of dominance and will show that you don’t understand the hierarchy.
FAQ: Your Aunt’s Second Facebook Profile
I always misplace the Post-it where you jotted down my password, leading me to wildly click around until something happens.
FAQ: Your Rescue Monster
When you adopt from Frankenstein’s, you can rest assured your Rescue Monster has received the highest quality of care.
6 Essential Workouts for Road Ragers
Clip a small dumbbell to each middle finger and do three sets of 50 reps while reaching up and out with your arms.
Let’s Talk About Why We All Hate the Beatles
My kids like the Beatles. How am I supposed to criticize them for their garbage taste if they are also brought to tears by "Happiness is a Warm Gun?"
Please Buy This Mirror from Me
The blurry apparition behind me in the last shot is definitely not the ghost of my great x 10 grandfather, just a smudge on my camera.
Four Strains of Mushrooms That Still Aren’t as Good as Stuffed Mushrooms
Four hours into this will have you wishing you traded in the hallucinogenics for something with a little more parmesan and a little less cow dung.