Guides and Listicles | Page 22

Tag: Guides and Listicles

Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.

1) I Make a Rube Goldberg-type Machine That Gives Sonny a Spank Right on the Keister Every Time He Lifts the Spoon to His Mouth

I am growing a long-white beard at a scary rapid pace! Uh-oh looks like someone might have the case of being magically transformed into St. Nick!

Circle Two: Cooking Tutorials - Wistfully, the penniless souls here all live in studio apartments where the only cooking appliance is a hotplate.

Contemporary realist Pavel Shpet’s “manic” salt and “depressive” pepper will liven up any dining table. (Well, one of them will liven it up.)

Forty-eight-year-old high school senior Ferris "The Rock" Bueller has 24 hours to save the city of Chicago from imminent destruction.

2. Passwords must contain the word that best describes how you feel about your parents’ 1993 divorce. Your selection: pizza2betrayal

Lists of songs to help with the sheltering process: Clearly the goal is to convey the refined but also insider-quirky tastes of the poster.

Here-Straight-From-Military Guy: Has probably already committed war crimes. Drinks water out of a milk-gallon container.

"Furloughed Guy": The problem with Furloughed Guy isn't so much the "guy" as the "furlough." How long will it go on?

Phone ringer volume must be all the way down, so no one is distracted by a late call from Justin H. Each of us must be into our third Moscow Mule.

A Pair of Cantaloupes: Honestly I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s 2020, but come the fuck on cantaloupe.