Guides and Listicles | Page 24

Tag: Guides and Listicles

A Chimp-Bather Among Us: This two-part documentary series suggests that on May 7, 2014, I stripped naked and scrubbed myself along with the chimps.

Personally ingratiate yourself to each and every search committee member. In your application, subtly but strongly imply that no favor is off-limits.

The members dance in like Ellen: Everyone loves Ellen! She’s the kind of complacent we can all get behind!

An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.

Karen is your oldest friend! She’s told you time and time again since college “I always knew Mark wasn’t the guy for you!”, and boy was she right!

Heat almond milk to a tepid temperature. Look around your little get together and remind guests that it is 9:01 PM on Saturday and it’s getting late.

Instead of buying a latte, deposit $5,000 in an IRA. Do that every single day and within less than a year you’ll have nearly a million dollars!

The Emperor’s New Groove: Was the world clamoring for a remake of this 2000 sort-of hit that was almost universally praised as “fine?”

You can’t read half the ingredients and might be suffocating a baby penguin with excess sodium monofluorophosphate, but at least you’re minty fresh.

The first thing you will notice is that there are a lot of sober people at grocery stores. Can they tell you’re stoned?

It’s so easy! Even Adam Driver baked a humble pie when he came over my large home today.

Humorous: Suggest, as a possible place of origin, "Yo momma’s ass." Smile to indicate that you are "just kidding."