How to Survive St. Patrick’s Day Without Revealing You’ve Been Cursed to Take the Form of a Leprechaun
You’re two feet tall and none of your clothes fit anymore. This new trait may be the most noticeable, but it’s also the easiest to explain.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
Early Warning Signs Your Workers Are Trying to Unionize
You’ve never had a problem casually finding out where the end-of-week happy hour is before, but people now seem to be making plans in the bathroom.
Easy Steps to Getting Your Pre-Baby Body Back Before Leaving the Hospital
Yes, you have been up for twenty hours straight, but take this opportunity to focus on getting leaner and fitter.
A Guide to Nonthreatening Celtic Symbols
Circle With A Line: A symbol which has negative connotations, thanks to the Ghostbusters. If you put this on a face, it could be seen as “cancelling.”
Four Signs You’re Dating a Shovel
"They love dirt" At first, it was sweet. "They really care about the Earth," you thought. But now you can't tear them away from the stuff.
8 Diet-Friendly Swaps That Will Make You Thin and Angry
Life isn’t about enjoying things. It’s about adhering to specific body norms! On your deathbed you won’t be wishing you ate more bonbons.
Ten Classic Books Everyone Should Pretend to Read
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The classic love story. It’s a famous… I want to say play? I’ve only seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
A Guide to Determining Whether You Should Take Your Child to the Emergency Room
When do I get paid again? What is your payroll schedule? Do you get paid weekly, biweekly, monthly? How close are you to your next paycheck?
A Millennial’s Guide to Pretending to Know What Umami Is
If they mention it, pretend to be engrossed in Kyle’s story. If they ask you a direct question about it, feign a family emergency and run out.
Things That Used to Be Fun in High School, But Aren’t Anymore
In order to experience that again, I had to erase my first kiss. I tracked down any record or indication that Julie Wexler ever walked the Earth.
My 2019 Resolutions According to Things Men Said to Me in 2018
“You should smile more” – To remedy my resting bitch face, I am going to pull my lips apart with duct tape so that I will have a permanent smile.
The Alphabet, Ranked
10. U: Used by moms in texts across the world. And candy hearts. And Prince. I love Prince. I would die 4 U.