Guides and Listicles | Page 33

Tag: Guides and Listicles

Negative and disgusting things you should save until at least the second date, if you're lucky enough to get that far.

Steal a seat from a pregnant woman who was about to sit down, then pull out a copy of "Angels & Demons" and bury your head in it.

Dad Bod Mints: Like the popular “Thin Mints,” but thicker, and with a little bit of hair.

Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.

Run circles around your orchid while making “buzzzzzz” sounds. An aroused orchid is an alive orchid.

20. I Liked You Better Before You Were Naked on the Internet. 21. Sleepless in Seattle is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be, Honey

‘Twas I who revived your battle-weary body with the healing milk of the tri-horned bison!

Now that I know there are more of us, maybe we can form a community. We kiss our parents on the lips together, and they will gently kiss us back.

Peter Jackson: The trolley problem is needlessly split into three separate trolley problems.

Ladies never worried about tripping over a factory-sized ass of ruffles, because they were sure to be carried by men dying to spend time with them.

An evening workshop is held in a dark alley by "pain management specialists" in Purdue Pharmaceutical shirts, menacingly brandishing baseball bats.

Go back to Wawa to demand they stop selling cigarettes to your Beanie Babies after you catch Splash the Killer Whale with a carton of Pall Malls.