A Real New Yorker’s Guide to the Real New York, Really
First, don’t ever call it the Big Apple. That’s embarrassing. The locals call it Nork-Nork. As in, “Welcome to Nork-Nork, dumb-dumb!"
Tag: Guides and Listicles
Your Mama Jokes from Guy Who Is Clearly in Love with Your Mom
Your mama’s so broke she doesn’t even make cents! Which is a shame because she’s worked hard for everything in this life.
Wedding Vows Written by the World’s Worst Podcaster
Kara, from today onward, you and I will be one in heart, body, and mind. Hey, can we curse on this thing?
Phishing Scams That Would Work On Me
YOU FORGOT MOM’S BIRTHDAY! IT’S TODAY! BUY HER A PRESENT HERE NOW!
Mood Lighting for Life’s Pivotal Moments
Faerie Lights: For when you’re watching "Garden State" with him for the first time.
Tips for Toddlers to Limit Parents’ Screen Time
Be More Interesting Than Whatever Is On Their Screens: You do have one huge advantage over their screens: a direct and genetic link to their vanity.
What Your Latte Milk Preference Says About You
Whole: Expect your life to be "Emily in Paris" but really it’s more like "Frances Ha"
Deciding Which of My 11,546 Photos to Delete
A Picture of the Loaf of Bread I Made Six Years Ago: My source of pride.
iPhone Screen Time Reports I Actually Need
You scrolled your own Instagram profile for 3 hours last week. You will never get that time back.
Baby Gifts I Registered For vs. Gifts My Baby Actually Wanted
Registered: A brand new crib with a breathable, hypoallergenic mattress / My Baby Wanted: Our dog’s bed, full of dog hair and slobbery toys
What You (a Humble, Highly-Skilled Nepalese Sherpa) Can Learn from Me (a Rich, Inexperienced Western Thrill-Seeker) About Climbing Mount Everest
You raised some concerns that a lot of us have zero climbing experience. Just so you know, I watched a bunch of climbing videos.
Essential Questions to Ask Your Exorcist
"What’s your schedule?" Exorcism is a nonstop, 24/6 career and the Devil loves dropping in unannounced, so you’ll want your exorcist on-call.