The Seven Stages of Dealing with the Inability to Pierce a Grape Tomato with a Fork
First comes shock and denial, as it just keeps rolling around the plate, inviting a game of cat and mouse. Except here, it's not a game, it's REAL LIFE.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
5 Historical Events Reimagined If Congressional Republicans Had Been in Charge
Republicans have demonstrated unflappable stoicism in the face of foreign attacks, unparalleled corruption, and looming constitutional crisis. How would they have fared with historical events?
The Pros and Cons of Allowing Horses to Become Doctors
Should horses be allowed to practice medicine? Here is a quick cost-benefit analysis.
Five People You Will Work With in Any Office
"The Lifer" has been doing the same job for over 30 years and, despite your complaints, still wears his misery like a warm blanket on a blustery winter night.
10 Really Insensitive Things You Should Never Say to People
Thank you for being so open and honest about your breakup. It sounds like there were many complicated factors in your previous relationship. So, are you ready to start sucking my dick yet?
“Meet Cute” Moments Ruined By Ghosts
Boy meets girl and it's love at first sight. They both go to grab the same latte, but they can't because their barista has been DEAD FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS.
Spicing Things Up: 8 Things I Want to See in “Sean Spicer: Season 2”
Sean Spicer's job as White House Press Secretary relies heavily on his ratings, so I've come up with a few ideas to ensure that he has an amazing second season.
6 Things Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Shove Up Yourself
The most baffling products from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop website, where you'll find an array of items that would make even the snobbiest of people cream their pants.
How to Step Up Your DIY Game This Summer
Are you tired of throwing the same party year after year, with the same decorations and spread from 2002? Try these five modern alternatives.
A Guided Meditation for Increased Self-Awareness of the Piece of Garbage You Really Are
Be aware of how your stresses don’t matter, because your job doesn’t matter, and neither do you. Let this knowledge relax you.
6 Life Lessons They Won’t Teach You in College
What you never learned is that you're a replaceable peon, your career means nothing, your marriage will fail, and nobody loves you. Don't worry though, you were a mistake to begin with.
5 INCREDIBLE Fashion Tips From Your Dad
You gotta have two belts: a formal one for funerals and weddings, and an everyday belt, no fewer than five years old, and TOTALLY SHOWING ITS AGE.