A Tepid Guide to Starting a Band
Starting a band takes a lot of time, practice, and self-loathing. You truly need to hate yourself to get into the state of mind necessary for writing profound, echoing lyrics.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
The Most Definitive Guide to Dogs (That I Know Of)
I've seen every dog under the sun (to my knowledge), so I thought why not deliver a little lesson in "Dog 101."
What Women Really Want on Valentine’s Day
Valentine's Day seduction tips so that one day she may say, “Yes.” From someone who has never been in a relationship (for obvious reasons).
An Idiot’s Guide to Grieving After an Acquaintance Dies
As you get older, more of your acquaintances will die, and you'll get better at saying the right things in public. But the first time it happens, it's a little awkward.
The 9 Worst German Beers, Tested
Germany has some of the best damn beers in the world. And unfortunately I'm not drinking any of them, because I can't afford too.
18 Magazines and the Pitches They Never Want to Hear
Many major magazines outlines writer's guidelines of what to send, when they should really be telling you what NOT to send.
The First 100 Days of Trump
Day 33: Trump announces the appointment of his boyhood idol as Treasury Secretary. Scrooge McDuck is approved by a Republican congress the next day.
Updated List of Bands That Have Declined to Perform at Trump’s Inauguration
Houston-based rockers Glennwood Johnson and His Exploding Knees, once described by Rolling Stone as "…a musical act," has declined due to moral concerns.
10 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Girl Who Relates to Every Article About What You Should Know About a Girl Before Dating Her
She is afraid of commitment, but at the same time she wants to rush things. Once things are Facebook official, it only gets crazier.
Top 6 Freakiest Vegetable/Celebrity Doppelgangers
In 2016, Susan Sarandon endorsed Jill Stein for President. Jill Stein is a member of the Green Party. You know what else is green? Arugula.
7 Enduring Myths of the Single Woman
There are a few times a year when I have the energy to have sex, but contrary to popular belief, I'm not having all the sex.
7 Things Your Guidance Counselor Isn’t Going to Tell You in High School
When you’re young, life gives you promise and hope, maybe even "love" in your heart, At this point, you must realize that your feelings mean nothing.