20 Practical Uses for Donald Trump’s Hair
The Donald's hair is perfect as a tiny scale model of the Siberian tundra, illustrating the catastrophic results of a scorched earth policy in the Napoleonic invasion of Russia.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
Hitler Takes a Facebook Quiz
While establishing his brand on Twitter, Pinterest, and Snapchat, the Fuhrer also uses Facebook as a marketing tool. During a recent boredom spell, he even took a quiz.
8 Christmas Gift Ideas for the Patriarchy in Your Life
Yoo hoo, ladies! Wondering what to get that special patriarchy in your life that already has everything? The answer is… more of everything!
5 Things to Show a Woman on Your First Date
This complete stranger woman may take an instant disliking towards you and your offline personality. Unless you can pull these aces out of your hole.
How to Survive as a Nice Guy
Being a "nice guy" is very difficult. So I have designed the following 10 guidelines to offer comfort, hope, and advice to all my fellow struggling nice guys.
17 Signs Walmart is Seizing Government Control and Declaring Martial Law
You know something is up when the Walmart coffee is unusually fresh, and the deli features sliced human flesh of "those who dare disobey us" for $4.49/lb.
5 Reasons It’s Fun to Be the Bad Guy
History will show, and has shown, that the "good" have always been those who conquer, screw over, and suppress. It's what comes naturally.
My Top 10 Childhood Girl Crushes from 90’s Kids Shows
Witchcraft was sketchy and intimidating to most preschoolers in the 90’s, but I wasn’t a little bitch so it was a huge turn-on to me. That's why Sabrina makes the list.
Ideas for Friends Season 11 Episodes
You thought you saw the perfect finale, but what about the one where Phoebe goes on Jeopardy and accidentally says the word "sniggers" live on air?
Top 5 Sexiest Male Psychopaths
We go behind the hockey mask and get under Freddy’s fingernails with horror’s top five sexiest male psychopaths, including Christian Bale, Jeremy Renner, and Gaspard Ulliel.
How to Fold a Fitted Sheet: Instructions for Couples and Singles
Couples: after you've mastered these origami-like instructions, you will soon overcome your fear and loathing of things that come out of the dryer. Singles: don't bother.
Your Pet May Be Trying to Kill You
As pet owners, we like to think that our dog or cat loves us as much as we love them. But sometimes the reality of the situation is, your pet would rather eliminate you.