The 5 Most Notorious Sufferers of George R. R. Martin Syndrome
George R. R. Martin is best known for his A Song of Ice and Fire. Instead, he's much better known for the amount of procrastination he takes between each of his novels.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
10 MORE Expressions That Really Piss Me Off
"When things get hard...just put one foot in front of the other." I should probably inform you that I followed this advice when I had sex with your girlfriend last week.
The Ten Commandments of Social Media Status Updates
#3: Thou Shalt Disguise Narcissism with Humility. This means learning to effectively implement the "humble brag." If you can't do that, just boast instead, whatever.
I Believe This Book You Lent Me Has Spent Considerable Time in Your Bathroom
I didn't want to believe it. "I've known him for years," I thought. "Why would he do this to me?" And then I opened up to page 45 and saw the pubic hair.
How to Spam My Friends After You’ve Hacked My Email
I can imagine the skill it takes to hack an email account, so I know you're smart. You got this far, why not market your shady products more effectively?
How NOT to Buy a Lottery Ticket at a Convenience Store
Alas, most of you are morons. Therefore, I have compiled a list of things you should know not to do before you buy a lottery ticket at the convenience store where I work.
6 Shitty Jobs You Really Did in the Navy
In commercials you see sailors doing all kinds of awesome shit. In real life, you do a bunch of jobs so shitty you can't believe how naïve you must have been to enlist.
10 Literary Rejection Letters to Famous Dead Authors
Good thing great authors aren't alive today. Here are 10 rejection letters they likely would have received in our current, dismal literary market.
A Tourist’s Guide to the Afterlife
After my wildly successful lecture series, "Where The Hell Am I? A MapQuest For The Afterlife," people had a lot more questions about Heaven. Here's my travel guide!
An Alpha Male’s Guide to Being a Man
When at a party, stare distantly into the wind and say "I loved a woman, once" while sporting a visible erection to increase the manly perception from those around you.
7 Secrets for Passing a Teaching Interview
We all know that going to a job interview can be very intimidating. Especially if you are a teacher. Since I've been there already, here are 7 successful strategies.
Hell’s Playlist: 23 Classic Hits Ruined by Repetition, Part 2
For weeks on end I endured my boss's hellish radio station, with the most narrow-minded playlist of the same fifty or so recycled "super gold hits" on endless rotation.