Making Sense of Assholes with Hot Chicks
I've heard the question asked too many times to count: Why do the assholes always get hot chicks? As a pretty cute girl, allow me to explain.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
The Sketchy Truth Behind Cartoons: Hey Arnold, Ren & Stimpy, Rocket Power
Just like cigarettes become part of someone's life even though they kill them inside, Nickelodeon was doing the same, only worse. Here are the real cartoon facts.
Why God is Pissed
Is there a God? Let's assume there is. If there is, He (or She) is pissed. Must be. Here's why. (Reason #1: Because we believe we deserve heaven just because we went to church once.)
Asian Massage Parlor & Spa Guide to a Happy Ending
I enter an Asian massage spa parlor near me for sex and my mind is flooded with thoughts: How much does this cost? Do I get a handjob? Is it illegal?
8 Things You Did as a Kid That You Wish You Could Do Now
<p><font size="3"><strong>1. Play Hide-and-Seek</strong></font></p> <p>This applies to "Ghosts in the Graveyard," four-square, and pretty much any other game you used to enjoy. If you're still engaging in these activities, odds are you're the only participant over the age of twelve, or you're drunk. </p>
A Step-by-Step Guide to Naming Your Penis and Testicles
By personalizing what they love most, men make something already special even closer. Not naming your penis is like forgetting to name one of your kids.
Irrational Fears are Fears Too
<p>So, it was late last night, and I had a paper that I didn't want to write and a midterm for which I didn't want to study. Naturally, I was IMing a friend and browsing YouTube when I was suddenly struck by the memories of some of the things that I fear most in life.
How to Relax Like a Man
No man loves an idea better than laying back, stretching out, and relaxing the shit out of himself. And who better to teach you than a manly man's man?
Five Hazardous Ways to Get a College Girl
Five simple ways to pick up a college chick, including the 'wounded puppy' and 'shove and help' techniques. Not to be attempted halfway.
Car Buying and the Power of the Purse
With all this bra-swinging girl power we've got going on, why does it seem nearly impossible to walk onto a car lot without some slimy salesman trying to sell you purely on cushy seats and shiny colors? Here's how to buy a car, ladies.
The 10 Worst Movies Since Rebello Ripped Hollywood a New One
Five years later, Hollywood continues to pump out an overwhelming number of terrible movies. I sorted through five years of shit for the worst.
You Can’t Charge a Dead Man
<p>Student loan debt is something to which any college student can relate. By the time most of us graduate (or drop out, or flunk out), we will be in a fantastically ridiculous amount of debt.