We Get It, You Don’t Like Cow’s Milk Anymore. Here Are 6 Rodents We Milked Instead
Firstly, you shouldn’t be put off by the fact this milk is from a rat. This is top-shelf stuff in the rodent milk world.
Tag: Guides and Listicles
Top 4 Back to School Outfits That Will Make Jason from Chemistry Cream His Pants
When Jason sees you wearing this in chemistry class, he’s gonna cream his jeans so hard that the frog he’s dissecting will come back to life!
Terrifying Profiles on Your College’s Alumni Website
John Chris: I am in my tenth year of overseeing the murder division at Clemsaw Capital. I would be happy to help current students in any way I can!
Some Complaints I Have with the Garden of Eden
Too much fruit: I've eaten six tons of papaya, 3,500 grapefruits, 0 apples, 700 oranges, more grapes than I can count, and a plethora of colorful berries.
Seven Ways to Stop Me Before I Start a Devastating Religion
Walk out: Just leave en masse. Once you're a healthy distance away from me, there will be no one to support my Multi-Level Marketing Religion.
More Honest, Useful, and Specific Netflix Categories
Reboots that have pulled child actors out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of gambling debts.
Every Time, Ranked by Lateness
5:00 AM – Catching the sunrise? Driving to hockey practice? This is the third least-late time ever invented!
Post-Coital Word Choices, Analyzed by WordleBot
“YIKES” Really? Of the 2,309 possible Wordle solutions out there, this is not the one we would have picked to say to our partner.
Episode Titles and Descriptions for a New and Overlong True-Crime Series
Experts discuss the latest lake tragedy: the uptick in water quality issues of Pennsylvania’s second-largest lake due to an increase in boat usage!
Why Our New Ad Campaign Only Targets Reptilian-Human Hybrids
The government began funding the reptilian-human-hybrid breeding program in the late 1940s. The perfect age to discover the wonders of retirement living.
A List of Apologies to Establishments from Which I Have Been Banned
Winkler Field in Saratoga: I’m sorry I repeatedly yelled, “I want that kid checked for steroids, he’s a steroid junkie” after a player hit a double.
9 Amazing Vacation Destinations to Check Your Work Email
Pro tip: bring a parasol to reduce the glare on your laptop screen when you’re checking Outlook for five minutes, just one more email, OK babe?