History | Page 15 | Points in Case

Tag: History

Q: I have no symptoms, but yesterday I had a sexy dream about my flatmate and now I feel... awkward? A: Fly! Fly! Thy death wound is upon thee!

Problem: Polio Cure: Jonas Salk’s polio vaccination. Worse Problem: Finding out your favorite celebrity thinks vaccines are worse than polio.

1876, Rogaine’s Custer’s Last Stand, “Scalp Issues? We’re For You” / 2005, Maxwell House’s Hurricane Katrina, “Good to the Last Levee Drop”

Albert Einstein - Pencils. No erasers. News clippings explaining Relativity in wrong but hilariously wrong ways. Address book of actual relatives.

People ask why I need the world’s most powerful artificial intelligence to manufacture a simple product. Obviously, those people aren’t businessmen.

Who could have thought, “Hey, it’s 2:15 AM, time to catch up with Slobodan!” You better believe that’s me on the other end. Every time.

I cannot dangle a peach in front of your mouth---the mouth from which all law is spoken to life---as you recline in your chaise.

I spoke at the Republican National Convention for Trump! What more do I have to do to prove that I’ll do literally anything?

1975 — Gerald Ford, cognizant of new requirements to look good on TV, overdoes his makeup and inadvertently wins an episode of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Adam explaining to Eve that he really enjoyed talking to the snake more than her and whether she likes it or not he’s going to Cabo with him.

Your years of unemployment in your home country put you at a distinct disadvantage. And we can find no official immigrant category of “prince.”