<p>People don't come to bars just to get drunk, hit on yetis, avoid their wives and shit on the windows. Since they're generally boring and/or revolting, they come to talk. When it's slow and I can't avoid them by flirting with 19-year-old NYU students or by counting ice cubes, I have to listen. Why do people think I care about their ex-wives, boy-toys or other problems? </p>
<p>If you're in university, you're probably finishing up finals and getting ready to go home. If you're not, and I'm entertaining you during your boring workday, you're probably just slacking off until your weekend -- as usual. Well, here are some easy questions that won't factor into your final grade or annual performance report...</p>
<p>It's time to make your list and check it twice, and answer some questions. </p><p>1. I could use a slingshot, some new underwear and either a computer cleaning or a brand-new laptop. What do you want for Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza?</p><p>2. What's worse, holiday music in November and December, or the fact that stores start putting out Valentine's Day shit on December 26th?</p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/0918072253.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="533" /> </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/bush-turkey-mad.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="313" /></p><p>Before you stuff yourself silly, or after depending on when you read this, answer a few of my Weekly Questions.</p><p>1. What are you thankful for?</p>
<p>Hola Mexican guys that run the fruit mart down the street from me,</p>
<p>Hidey Ho Gang! I am wickedly hungover right now. It's Wednesday, and that means...Questions of the Week!!! Yay. Answer the hell out of these things.</p><p>Bones came up with this hard-fucking-core rhyme: </p><p>"i've got a million bitches hangin on my cock,<br />but they don't love me they just crave the rock." </p><p>A friend back in North Dakota wrote: </p>
<p>Prepare for the most amazing sporting event of your life, my dear Freemanites. The NYU Swim Team Boys will be reuniting for the First Annual NYU Alumni Meet Saturday November 22nd at 1 p.m. EST. The old guys will swim against the young guys. I will be one of the old guys, albeit an extremely good looking and sophisticated old guy.</p>
Gang, we've had a lot of fun here a lot of times. I know I seem like this squeaky clean celebrity personality, which I am. For the most part.<p>But I have a confession to make. Now, please don't blow this out of proportion or anything. It's serious, but not that serious.</p><p>Okay, I know this will jeopardize my career in many different ways, but I can't live this lie any longer.</p>
<p>What's up gang? That's not one of the Weekly Questions, but you can answer it if you want.</p><p>1. Nixon had a bowling alley. Teddy Roosevelt probably had a badass tire swing installed. If you elected me, I'd definitely put a waterslide from the top of the Washington Monument to the backyard of the White House. What would your first renovation to the White House be?</p>
<p>Thank Science the election is over! Hopefully the next one is determined by penis size or arm wrestling competition. Once again, I was wrong. I thought the results would be close. My thoughts can only be described by a friendly homeless guy yesterday who said, "I don't give a shit who wins. I'm still sleeping under a bridge tomorrow." I feel the same way brother. </p>
<p><strong>Weekly Drunk Comment</strong><p>"Halloween is a great excuse for girls to dress <a href="/blogs/casey-freeman/what-you-should-be-for-halloween">slutty</a>. And for straight men to put on make-up." -- kc</p>