Bible Verse First Drafts Where Jesus Brags About His Kick-Ass Carpentry
Jesus declared, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, because of this table I built. See that consistent grain?”
Tag: Satire and Parody
I’m Your Mom, and I Got You the World’s Ugliest Shirt for Christmas
Don’t you love it? It’s got a nice high collar, but three-quarters-length sleeves, so it’s not too formal.
Complaints Submitted to My Online Christmas Tree Business
My house got robbed and my tree did nothing. In fact, I’m pretty sure it gave the burglars the alarm code.
Welcome to Our New and Improved Santa’s Village and Tree Farm and Water Park
We settled our feud with the local breeder, and will once again have nine living, breathing reindeer on site as in days of yore.
A Recipe Blogger’s Text Responses to Incredibly Simple Questions
What time are we getting coffee later? The Arabian Peninsula has always been one of the harshest environments on Earth, and 800 A.D. was no exception.
Christmas in the Lobby
Please join us in the lobby to celebrate Christmas! We will scrounge up a folding chair or two and everyone will be afraid to sit.
Please Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Had My Coffee, My Anti-Depressants, My Cholesterol Medication, a Shot of Whiskey, a Breath Mint, and a Pound of Bacon
How is it that my morning routine is simultaneously killing me while also helping me barely cling to dear life?
The iPad Scoffs at Your Pathetic Christmas Presents
Nadine rips open the presents, revealing these primitive analog relics. But by noon, she’ll have forgotten about all of you.
I Am the Real Parson Brown, and Let Me Tell You—Identity Theft and Unsanctioned Weddings Are Serious Crimes!
This snowman wedding racket is a disgrace to the good name of clergymen everywhere.
Why Your End-of-Year Bonus Is a Pet Rock
You: Is there a financial component? Boss: Who needs money when you have the love of a decorated lump of minerals?
Montezuma Pleads with the Gods to Change His Act of Revenge
When was the last time my name came up and someone said, “Oh, you mean the guy who ruled over the greatest period of expansion in the Aztec empire?”
Is That Bolognese on Your Chinos, or Are You Bleeding Out in This Banana Republic?
I’m on thin ice with my manager, Trayson, and I can't afford another marinara mishap. Please, my job is on the line here.