Satire and Parody | Page 112

Tag: Satire and Parody

We feel lucky to be in your life at all. And honestly, we hate that you aren’t single. Sometimes we feel like we should be paying you $39.99 a month.

1. Where does all your money go? a. Clothes. b. Clothes. c. Clothes. d. Clothes. e. A variety of things based on my different needs and interests.

I hear my quest for vengeance described as “single-minded,” and I can’t help but resent that.

Release the need for meaningless trivia and you will never Google again. If you still thirst for knowledge, there’s always DuckDuckGo.

Empty your pockets. Phones out, now! And you know what? While you’re doing that, why don’t you all sing Happy Birthday?

Do you see the way he struts around in his "chocolate" coat? He thinks he can just show up at anybody’s doorstep and everybody will jump for joy.

Are your friends: A) A bunch of good guys. B) Funnier and more interesting than you, each marginalized in no more than one single and visible way.

Sweetest Day is better and not until October 16th, so I'm actually way early in already talking about it.

You can’t convict me for something a parallel universe version of myself did.

I don’t even have the mental energy to try to win her back because your little stunt has put me in such an awful financial situation.

I mean, where else can you find crumbly olive oil bath bombs to give you that “wet pasta” sheen?

The card was so lovely, but unfortunately, I can’t show you it because there was a fire at my desk.