Mouth Police: The Next Bestselling YA Dystopian Novel
If the Mouth Police catch you they send you to mega jail. It’s like jail but bigger and where my rebel dad is.
Tag: Satire and Parody
This Is a Corporate Restructuring Team-Building Exercise, Not Downsizing
We wanted to take a minute as a company to step back, take a look at each other, and ask the question, "Which one of you can we fire?"
Just to Play Devil’s Advocate, What if We Didn’t Defund the Police?
Listen, I know these struggles are just theoretical for me—but that’s why they’re so easy to argue against!
Sure, My Name Is Batman, But That Doesn’t Mean I Was the Conduit for Coronavirus to Jump from Bats to Humans
Please stop graffitiing the Batmobile with hurtful slogans like “The Caped Contager” and “The Dark Blight.”
The Scooby-Doo Gang Are Agents of Gentrification
Mystery Inc is an LLC, and you're your shareholders' puppets: driving from town to town, pushing out the little guys so big business can take over.
The Archangel Gabriel Appeared to Me in a Dream and Told Me to Start Pounding More PBR Tall Boys if I Want to Get into Heaven
I heard that in Heaven, you can ride on the backs of angels and use their halos as steering wheels. That’s something I would like to check out.
How Was Your Experience with Our Customer Experience Survey?
Any levels of satisfaction that we failed to offer as responses? e.g. sorta satisfied, existentially satisfied, really-good-peach satisfied, etc.
Dogwin’s Law of Internet Discussion
As an online discussion grows longer, eventually someone will reference Clifford the Big Red Dog, effectively ending the discussion.
Transcript from the Murder Trial of My Teddy Bear
The mortician had examined Mr. Bear’s three major organs: the soft and cuddly organ, the unconditional love organ, and of course, the colon.
I’m the Ghost of Pythagorus and I Can’t Go to My Light Until You Believe the Earth Is Round
Despite my best efforts to educate the public, the Flat Earth Reddit page has doomed me to roam this very large and very round earth until the end of time.
How to Make Your Zoom Meetings More French
Have a visible breakfast of two croissants, orange juice, and a glass of red wine on Zoom. Complain how you had to make the croissants by hand.
When Matt Damon Was My Age He’d Filmed His Second “Bourne” Movie
When Sting was my age, he decided to quit The Police because he “wasn’t feeling it anymore.” I’ve never even talked to the police.