Can’t You Tell I’m Well-Traveled? I’ve Collected Many Diseases, Including Coronavirus
It is a well-known fact that only the most elite acquire specific, regional, life-threatening diseases as symbols of culture and refinement.
Tag: Satire and Parody
You’ve Awakened an Ancient Evil, and Now It’s Aggressively Selling Empowerment to New Moms
"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."
Help! My Head Is Being Consumed by an Octopus, But the CDC Says I Can’t Touch My Face
I’d ask someone to save me from this giant octopus, but how do I know their hands aren’t contaminated?
Enough Is Enough: My Son Wanted to Burn a Wooden Effigy in My Likeness While Reciting Satanic Incantations, So I Told Him to Please Take It Outside
The 2 things I love most are corduroys with ridges so deep that you can slide a can of Coors Light in there, and making sure my son thinks I’m cool.
Could I Interest You in Bigfoot Insurance?
These uncovered trash bins might as well be a Bigfoot buffet. And one Bigfoot taking a dip in your pool will permanently clog the filter with hair.
Grown World: An Amusement Park for Adults
No Driver's License Bumper Cars: Like bumper cars, but only the child drives. You have to sit and incessantly pumping the imaginary brakes.
A Letter of Appreciation for “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers
People will call you a monster, and in a way, they’ll be correct: you are a monster---a monster fucking hit.
My Entirely Intellectual and Not at All Emotional Reasons for Watching “The Bachelor”
I’m interested in analyzing the importance of “opening up” via “crying” and how this plays into our fantasies of ideal womanhood.
My Instagram Alter Ego Is Alive and She Is Pissed
You should know that the only reason I’m smiling right now is because that’s all you’ve taught me to do.
All Hail Aegeus II, the New Vermin Overlord of What Used to Be My Apartment
Long Live Supreme Leader Aegeus! May your light forever shine over your kingdom that is this fifth-floor walk up!
Questions You, My Spouse, Are Likely to Have about My Brave Decision to Start a Podcast
"For real, what will it cost?" Well, it's not a cost per se, but there is will be a very small upfront investment… just to start.
We at Disney Couldn’t Be Prouder to Show Our Commitment to Representation with 9 More Easily-Missable LGBTQ Characters
This moment in the film may not be noticeable, but you bet your ass we’ll talk about it on the press tour like we threw the first brick at Stonewall!