Satire and Parody | Page 154

Tag: Satire and Parody

We were dance partners for five years? And then you ditched me. But hey, no hard feelings. I’m not jealous. Not one tiny bit.

Q: I have no symptoms, but yesterday I had a sexy dream about my flatmate and now I feel... awkward? A: Fly! Fly! Thy death wound is upon thee!

“Live, Laugh, Love” in Cursive: Are you a human or the wall clock I bought from the Home Goods clearance section?

Schrödinger’s Everything: If you refuse to look at your bank balance, you are simultaneously broke and rich.

She laughed, but do you think maybe deep inside she thought you were an idiot? Nah... Probably not. Anyway, no reason to hash it out at 2:32 AM!

Zoinks! Accuweather.com doesn’t want to rain on your parade, but we need that juicy, juicy marketing money to keep powering these weather puns.

We’re not real good at giving directions, so we suggest you stop by the quaint post office off Route 40 (or 14?), and ask for Hank.

But I’m gonna lie to y’al' so’s y’all have an excuse to sit a spell with me at this here combination A&W-Long John Silver’s-Exxon gas station.

Tomorrow I’ll open up "Moby Dick" and listen to that iconic first line, “Call me Captain Ahab, because I’m in charge of this whaling operation now.”

We offer absolutely no supervision to inhibit your individualized sense of what’s proper and safe technique. Weights will be scattered about.

In Mayr-a-Layrgo stood Pootin, who existed before the primaries. He sits upon a giant steed, wearing pants but no shirt, chest oiled for some reason.

One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.