All Aboard the Gravy Train!
Succulents, violets, bromeliads, fiddle leaf figs, and ferns all appreciate a heavy dousing of gravy.
Tag: Satire and Parody
No, You Can’t Be the Leader of Post-Apocalyptic Earth
Buckaroo, it’s time to pack away the silly stuff and focused on what you might actually achieve before the ice caps melt and we have to build an ark.
I’m Not Pretentious, Unless It’s about Flavored Seltzer Water
Wow! A flavor of La Croix that I have never seen before! What marvel! What majesty! Bacchus blessed us with peaches and pears.
I Am the Netflix Producer That Pitches Reality TV Shows and Only I Understand the Depraved Depths of the Human Psyche
My signature traits as a producer are bringing people together who probably shouldn’t be together and separating people by arbitrary barriers.
I’m Every Stock Photo of a Bewildered Stock Broker, Please Help Me
Every time I wearily hang my head into my hands and grit my teeth in frustration, there’s the media, plastering my visage on every downcast article.
Due to Concerns over Coronavirus, I’ve Decided to Postpone My Personal Revenge
We could brawl, and you might get off a few gunshots or blows into my ripped torso, but you can't make me take off work for two weeks.
I’m Writing to Your Advice Column for Advice That Matches What I Already Decided to Do
So please tell me it’s a good idea to set a discrete fire in his wastebasket and blame it on his vape pen. That’s what I’m going to do.
An Open Letter from a Hand Who Misses Touching the Face
And you want us to report any symptoms of the coronavirus. But, if I can’t touch the forehead, how can I check for a fever?
I’m the Still Life with Asparagus Painting at the Rijksmuseum and I Don’t Appreciate You Laughing
I’m not some lame meme for TikTok. I’m a piece of art, dude. I live here! In a museum! Where do you live? A shared one-bedroom in Bushwick?
Jury Duty Is Rebranding as Justice Festival
As you enter the courthouse, you will get a trendy wristband. This unlocks special access to the “VIP Pit” also known as the “Enormous Waiting Area.”
I’m the Exclamation Mark in Your Work Emails and I’ve Had Enough
You’re that fired up about Gabe’s oatmeal raisin cookies in the break room? You’re not fooling anybody that you “dream about those bad boys!”
Dispatches from the Media Relations Desk of the Terran Starship Expedient
We can reassure our Cres’Nan allies that incidences of uncontrolled mutation are unrelated to our activities and are probably completely coincidental.