We’re Hiring a Freelance Full-Time Editor!
The ideal candidate would fit in with an ambitious team of Hustlers and Grinders (i.e. tech people and salespeople), who all, weirdly, have benefits.
Tag: Satire and Parody
I’m the Guy Your Uber Drivers Talk to Late at Night
Who could have thought, “Hey, it’s 2:15 AM, time to catch up with Slobodan!” You better believe that’s me on the other end. Every time.
I Like My Architectural Design Like I Like My Leaders: Dictatorial
“What has become of our once beautiful nation?” I wondered, disgusted at the angular walls and ceilings that lead the eye into unexpected spaces.
To the Man Selling His Dead Baby’s Shoes
What on earth caused you to decide that the appropriate response to this tragedy was selling your dead baby's shoes in the local newspaper?
I Deserve to Be PTA President Even Though I Spent Our Entire Budget on a Magic Globe
The Globe Master pulled a tiny globe the size of a McIntosh apple from under his top hat and asked if I wanted to “go for a spin.”
There Are Some Things You Mustn’t Eat from Your Lounging Chaise in Rome!
I cannot dangle a peach in front of your mouth---the mouth from which all law is spoken to life---as you recline in your chaise.
The Oscars Are About Quality, Not Diversity, and Also Scarlett Johansson Should Have Every Award
Despite ongoing #OscarsSoWhite controversy, it’s important to remember that the Oscars are, as Stephen King pointed out, about quality, not diversity.
Oscar Presenters: Stop Reading Your Lines!
Your profession revolves around memorizing lines, making them believable, and delivering them to casting directors, audiences, and law enforcement.
Uncut Energy Crystals: Howard Ratner in LA
Not only will the green aventurine win you material success but the Yoni birth mother energy will protect you from any Price Waterhouse trickery.
How Opening Up About Going Gluten-Free Gave Me the Confidence to Bore the Shit out of Everyone I Meet
I owe it to the world to share, and the world owes it to me to shut its bread hole and endure my incessant babble about chickpea pasta.
I’m Thrilled to Announce That REI Is Sponsoring My Dirty Laundry Pile as a Top Climbing Destination
A treacherous, smelly laundry pile mountain with its own micro-ecosystem, flora/fauna/foot fungus found nowhere else, and several documentaries.
The Evolution of Ghosting Over Half a Century
The 1950s: He never calls you again, and you find out from his mom that he got drafted into the Korean War.