White Male Startup Seeking Diverse Board Member for IPO
Whatever kind of minority you are, it would be helpful if you could be very visible about your minority status, at least in company photos.
Tag: Satire and Parody
The 50 Stages of Toddler Grief
HUNGER: They will want to eat something blue, but not blueberries. Blue. JOY: You managed to find food that is their favorite color!
Sticky Notes and Stalkers: A Day in the Life of a Maestro
Don’t forget to tune (short black thing in back/right = oboe) / Start Rehearsal Strong / Say SOMETHING INSPIRATIONAL
I’m Scott Baio and Where the Fuck Is My Shitty Christian Movie?
I spoke at the Republican National Convention for Trump! What more do I have to do to prove that I’ll do literally anything?
I Take You to Be My Instagram Husband
We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome brand managers, heads of corporate sponsorships, and marketing coordinators.
Now That He’s Gone, I Can Share the Truth of How My Father, Mr. Peanut, Killed My Mother
Growing up, he was a hard legume to love. He showed no emotion, said very little, and was constantly traveling for work.
Excerpt from “Norse Mythology for Bostonians: A Transcription of the Impudent Edda”
Brady: Known as Balder & nicknamed the White or the Beautiful, Brady is the most attractive of the gods, and most popular since he started playing QB.
I Am Your Period Underwear and I Deserve a Goddamn Purple Heart
I was once beautiful. Lacy, soft, and placed with love into your dresser in the coveted spot next to that lavender sachet your grandmother gave you.
Where in the Hell Did Alan Dershowitz Get His Ideas?
“Article II Looks Good On You” (The Journal of Bizarre Constitutional Arguments, December 2012)
Pitchfork Reviews People in My Life
A Woman I Went On Two Great, Early-In-The-Game Dates With: An incredible, staggeringly original human being who just appeared on the dating scene. 9.3
You’re Still My Life Partner, Just Not My Doomsday Prepping Partner
But never did I think while I was pouring over the medicinal properties of deer antler spray, that you were shirking your prepping commitment.
I, John Bolton, Will Happily Testify about My White House Erotic Fantasy Novela
Mary Anne is a hawkish White House staffer in her late-20s who drafts war plans with Iran which never quite climax, but her sexual plans always do.