Satire and Parody | Page 164

Tag: Satire and Parody

Your years of unemployment in your home country put you at a distinct disadvantage. And we can find no official immigrant category of “prince.”

Feel free to make your kids play Connect Four while you pound some Child Hopbandonment, my extra-high-ABV double IPA.

Linked directly to Climate Change, immigration is. Displaced by imperialist wars like your culture, many orphans have.

“I am grateful for my talents.” How quickly can you fold laundry before getting hit on? Did someone steal your detergent?

You also get free points if you have advice on what to do when your beloved pet gets evicted from his favorite shelf in a seldom-used closet.

Admittedly, we were shocked when we noticed people who didn't spring for box seats were drowning below us.

But when I began to say, “Nevermore Courier Service requires your signature for this same-day trowel delivery,” I only got the first word out.

If we work together, we can achieve anything! Specifically, a huge, triangular crypt for Pharaoh, through which he will transcend into the afterlife.

If we don’t come up with an ingenious sign, no one will ever come in, meaning no one will share post shots of our killer foam art.

Do you really think that I, a gorgeous seed full of immense potential, want to hinder my growth by spending all of eternity in your intestines?

My backstory is abuse, the type doesn’t matter. Bullies, a family member, a boyfriend who is so overwhelmingly not in my league.

It's simple: if a recipe involves fewer than 52 ingredients, you're not allowed to eat it. Or if it takes fewer than 83 steps or 5 hours to prepare.