Does This Crippling Existential Dread Make Me Look Fat?
This thing we call "life" is really just a painfully drawn out, cosmic joke. And I can’t tell if that’s what’s causing the bulge around my waistline.
Tag: Satire and Parody
The Church Announces Changes to Try and Get Young People to Attend Mass
To help bring in the younger audience, the flock is now allowed to respond to “The Lord be with you” with “OK boomer.”
Dear Families That Share Holiday Letters
I noticed that you already posted those vacation photos online, but the evidence of just how wealthy your family is magneted to my fridge is a treat!
This Year’s Agency Holiday Party Theme: Transparency!
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.
I Got Dumped for Having No Personality Even Though She Hadn’t Read All My T-Shirts
And what about that day I wore my ORGASM DONOR t-shirt and kept asking everyone in her family if they wanted to find out if they were a match?
It’s That Time of Year Again When My Seasonal Affective Disorder Kicks in and I Transform into Glargor the Cave Troll
Like Bruce Banner turns into The Hulk when he gets angry, I turn into Glargor whenever the concentration of Vitamin D in my blood dips below 15 ng/ml.
Hold the Phone, Wife and Husband Are Also Best Friends?!
Spending the night with your wife is now HAVING A SLEEPOVER WITH YOUR BESTIE. Dinner dates are now EATING WINGS WHILE YOU GOSSIP ABOUT NON-BESTIES.
You Forgot the Anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, Didn’t You?
Next you’re going to tell me that you don’t remember William Molineux organizing prominent Whig meetups at the Old South Meeting House.
A Look into My Fiverr Request History
I am overwhelmed with reports I have to finish, so I need someone smart to finish them, but not smart enough that my boss knows it’s not from me.
“30 Under 30” Who Are Doing Just Okay
Darren McCoy, 28, Class of 2013, Has an 8-Year-Old Batman Spec Script No One Has Read.
Mom, Dad, I’m Dropping out of School, Moving to New York, and Pursuing My Dream of Being the Mayor of New York
The mayor scene is great in New York. The best in the world. There are tons of small elections that are friendly to newcomers.
From a Proud but Contrite Music Snob with a Secret Life to His Daughter in the Event of His Death
I need you to delete my personal Spotify account. As you browse the artists and titles in my library you will see why I need this to happen.