I Will Not Let Impostor Syndrome Get Me Down Just Because I’m an Actual Impostor
It has taken hard work to get to where I am. I am a self-made, set-a-guy-up-to-be-murdered-and-steal-his-identity kind of person.
Tag: Satire and Parody
I Explain Social Media to the Ghost of My Great-Grandfather
"That resembles nothing of a telephone, and I should know, I once lost a beloved terrier to Alexander Graham Bell in an ill-advised wager."
I Prefer Cold Weather to Hot Weather Because You Can Always Put on More Layers and Still Get Frostbite and Die
God, I adore those deadly Arctic air jet streams like they’re a Jacuzzi jet femme fatale delivering ice to my shivering body. The tingle!
Welcome Aboard C.U.L.T. Incorporated!
We want our employees to look virtually identical so if one disappears (I mean "calls out") we can just sub someone else into that role.
As CEO of Stouffer’s, I’ve Decided to Add 20x the Beef to Our Lasagna
We're always putting our customers' needs first. And they need more meat. So we’re shoving 20 times the beef into our lasagnas.
Will Sex One Day Become a Reality?
According to legend, the Egyptian ruler Cleopatra made out with the Roman general Mark Antony for several hours before falling asleep.
The Rules of Power According to a Teen in Charge of a Roller Coaster
They don’t know how to tame the most popular coaster in Central Jersey. You do.
I’m an ENFJ, Unless You Factor in How I’ve Acted over the Last 20 Years
If we should be in the elevator together I'll be looking at my phone the whole time, but that's just because I have so many friends to keep up with.
Could You Make This Novel a Bit Blacker?
Instead of Jerrick Glitterblade, how about Jamal Kingston? A little regional flavor would add specificity to his character.
To: The Lord RE: Your Mysterious Ways
Upper management has been attempting to quell frustration by saying, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” Well, I for one think that You should not.
I, Zippy the Jetpack Boy, Have Been Hired to Fix Your Subway System!
No one knows more about getting from point A to point B with lethal efficiency than Zippy the Jetpack Boy -- that this is bound to rub off on the job.
In Loving Memory of the Beto O’Rourke We All Used to Think Was Hot
He is no longer the youth pastor you spoke with about the morals of masturbation too many times; he is the teacher that made you believe in bullying.