Impostor Syndrome at the Space Olympics
You are supposed to be here no matter what the Space Squids wrote on your locker in 4-dimensional ink that you had to get a Helper-Droid to translate.
Tag: Satire and Parody
My Summer Internship Working for Dr. Mercurius Krunth, Mad Scientist
TIME Magazine once called Dr. Krunth, “a man mad enough to think himself a God while doing the work of the Devil.” All summer I would call him “boss.”
Sure, My Parents May Be the King and Queen of a Small Country, But I’m Not the Least Bit Privileged
People tell me I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but that’s not true at all. It was bronze.
A Recruitment Letter from the Williams College Combat Juggling Team
I caught your last prep school match against Groton, and let me be plain: you are a truly gifted combat juggler, a “once-in-a-century” talent.
Dear My Girlfriend’s Book Club
I am also sorry for not leaving when you all walked in, immediately noticed me, and asked me to leave. That was wrong, and I am sorry.
Welcome to Your Life as My Child!
Welcome to your life! You’ve been lucky enough to draw the sought after white, middle-class, dual-working parent scenario.
Amy Vanderbilt’s Dos and Don’ts of Impeachment Etiquette
Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.
An Open Letter to the Guy in the Subway Playing the “Rocky” Theme on the Melodica as I Carried Two Bags of Groceries
One minute I was thinking, did I need to buy a bag of tangelos? But the next minute I was hearing the uplifting strains of your enchanting song.
Non-Apology Apologies for Corporate Ne’er-Do-Wells
Steal an intern’s idea and get a promotion for it? Buy them a piece of jewelry. The “hang loose” attitude of the puka shell never goes out of style.
Please Stop Using Me, A Polar Bear, As the Poster Child for Climate Change
I wanted to send an official cease and desist but my lawyer melted in 2016 so now I have to speak for myself.
Help! YouTube’s Algorithm Is Radicalizing My Son into Becoming a Magician
Any path, regardless of magic type, has one result?---social isolation and perverse obsession with colorful vests.
I’m Afraid the Construction Crew Is Catching On, Master Bruce
“Are you sure Mr. Wayne needs these titanium bomb doors to his---uh, what’s this room for again?” one worker asked.