Satire and Parody | Page 188

Tag: Satire and Parody

What’s the point of locating a family to scare and waiting under a bed, if when I crawl out to scare the kid, they’re not even in there?

Dad’s old tennis sneakers: You dated him in college when he wore these sneakers and you seemed to like them just fine back then.

Gaze upon the glory of my cover of “Seven Nation Army.” Observe the light of my own original songs, which sound exactly like “Seven Nation Army.”

Did it ever occur to you that maybe leading an active lifestyle doesn’t make you inherently more driven & virtuous? Maybe it just makes you sweatier.

There we are, four feet peeking out, intimating that our other body parts are currently engaged in some very exciting and hidden sexual activity.

I gave him a "you know you're not supposed to do that" look and he replied with a "the assumption of inevitable or primal goodness is a myth" stare.

I am a man. A normal man with normal needs. Do the whole "walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes" thing. There’s no elbow room here. No privacy.

Must have a very strong bladder. We don't have many public restrooms here in Hell, and you will almost certainly have to wait in line.

Do neckerchiefs not itch against your perfect scruff? Who decides that your face fur should stay at a golden quarter inch?

How is that standard any different from "has a job?" Spoiler alert: it's not!

"I essentially stuck to a low carbon monoxide, high carbon dioxide diet. It was definitely not always easy to be disciplined!"

That hood and the entire car frame is made out of Gorilla Glass, the material you smudge every day and crack every other week on your iPhone screen.