An Open Letter to Arbor Day
I'm warning you: they won't stop until Arbor Day becomes Firewood Day.
Tag: Satire and Parody
How to Recover After Telling a Job Interviewer That “You’re a Cat Who Loves Lasagna, But Hates Mondays”
There is no better example of multitasking than being able to eat flat pasta, ground beef, tomato sauce, and three types of cheeses all in one dish.
I Will Not Be Issuing a Refund For My Unorthodox “Next Stop: Team Town” Workshop
It is true: I stabbed every balloon on the showroom floor and likened it to Steve stabbing me in the back when he left me for the dweebs at DreamTeamz LLC.
Call Me By Your Ready Player One
Oliver feels as if he is being let in on an intimate secret as Elio pushes open a door to a loud, crowded arcade. "This is my spot."
I’m Scaling This Mountain With Nothing But Tincup Brand Whiskey in My Backpack for Authenticity’s Sake
It’s about putting yourself in the life-threatening, strenuous situations that past generations did their utmost to avoid and drank to forget.
Strategies to Cure Your Partner’s Insomnia
Some can't sleep well if their partner can’t decide whether to be the big spoon, or the little spoon, or maybe to just not touch you at all.
Games of Clones
Game of Phones: Follows House Phonecians, that reject the Talk, Text, and Data and popularize an "Unlimited Plan" beyond The Wall.
Because of #Metoo, Every Time I Meet Another Woman, We Have to Bond, Swap Harassment Stories, Hug, and Drink Each Other’s Blood
The coven of womanhood is strict. I’ve given out more hugs to passersby than I ever wanted. I also have a ton of blood floating types in my body.
More Movie Adaptations of Our Favorite Board Games
Sometimes there’s perfection in having flaws. Until one man remains. Or woman. Or...How does "Guess Who" work again?
Furniture King Supports Your Boycott
I aim to run this Kingdom in a way that would have pleased Thomas Aquinas, right down to the tonsured haircut that I require all staff to adopt.
If Amazon and the Postal Service Were Two Teenage Boys in Forbidden Love
trump: jeff if you hang up on me i will have to talk directly to your— (jeff bezos hangs up)
Even If We Ban Guns, Someone Would Invent a Machine With a Different Name That Does the Same Thing
The liberals, they're wrong, we can't ban guns. Even if we made guns illegal, someone would reinvent guns and just call them something else.