Field Notes from the Archaeological Dig of Your Boyfriend Jake’s Instagram
I speculate that these images date back to the early 2010s, based on the woman’s dramatic side bangs and orange tribal body painting.
I speculate that these images date back to the early 2010s, based on the woman’s dramatic side bangs and orange tribal body painting.
I bought him that can opener as a gift to use on Boy Scout trips and he mocks me by spelling swears in alphabet soup on our counter!
Who gets to determine when a novel starts and ends in this postmodern age that you would understand if you had read the first six pages too.
Everyone knows I’m a patriot, but being eaten by a pack of mega-wolves with no natural predators ain’t exactly dying for your country.
Somebody will watch in confusion as a frustrated Jim Carrey thrusts his torso to explain where the parking garage’s car elevator will go.
We are ashamed to be counted among a population that would laud a man for performing a piledriver on a disabled person. Please step down, Mr. Mayor.
Apparently, my haters think I’m ‘off the hook’ but in a bad way, something I didn’t even know was possible.
Now I know smart car person phrases like, “you can tell the water pump is going out when you press the radio button and water squirts out.”
The "Gold-Gilt Family Plan," for multiple members of the same family that are involved in the same case.
The jar banged off the window and now burning, fancy French grease is everywhere! Thank you Vicky! Thank you so much for closing all the windows!
VeganBeauty1998 Nation, never stop smiling, even when your mind twists your need for intimacy into reveries about lodging yourself into Jeff's ear.
20 registers, all manned by 20 identical managers. They turn all at once and, eyes glowing yellow, sing “Derrick’s not here! Derrick’s not here!”