Why is My Watershed Not Having a Watershed Moment?
Powerful men are being held accountable for their despicable actions in watershed moments, but are we forgetting about true watersheds?
Tag: Satire and Parody
Transcript of Zeus’s Personal Rebranding Meeting to Address Bestiality Concerns
"We want to create a more human Zeus. Relatable, powerful, and, most importantly, someone your worshippers can imagine sleeping with."
Confessions of a Potted Plant in Love with Harvey Weinstein
As a plant, it was one thing to have a guy like Harvey Weinstein brush up against you. But to finish himself off inside you?
Dear Ghost Girl Haunting My Apartment: You’re Starting to Become a Financial Burden
It's not that I don't think you're scary. But this is NYC, and I really need to get a roommate listed on this lease or else I'll have to move back to Ohio with my parents.
Wanted: Young, Female Assistant for Totally Normal Stuff
While there are many Craigslist jobs out there, this one is unique because it pays well and guarantees you will not be bludgeoned to death during a pagan sacrifice.
We Need Filibuster Reform, Which is a Shame Because I Love the Word “Filibuster”
So difficult to get things done with the Senate always getting in the way, but these filibusters, they make it hard. We need filibuster reform, even if it is such a fun word to say.
Miss Tabitha’s Phone Sex and Nuclear Apocalypse Preparation Hotline
I'm wearing a transparent red teddy while I fondle myself to thoughts of your survival preparations. That’s because I'm outside of the fallout zone.
The First Self-Driving Car for Women: An Operating Manual
Go ahead and smile, because that's how you operate the remote keyless entry. No one wants to see resting bitch face. There it is. There's our pretty lady. Step inside.
Now That My Girlfriend Left Me, I’m Fattening Up to Be Eaten by a Witch
I can't help but wonder, are the things that made me an unappealing romantic companion to Gretchen the same things that make me an unappetizing meal to witches?
Mistakes to Avoid on Your Cover Letter for a Job in Hell™
Focus on a few key accomplishments that highlight your strengths: Were you responsible for major bloodshed at your last position? An innovative new flaying technique?
7 Sexy Baseball Movies to Get You in the Mood for the World Series
Thanks to the extensive sports section at my local adult video store, I now understand everything about baseball, nudity and all!
A Sick Husband’s Apology Voicemail to His Wife
Hon… are you there? Pick up? When I get home, I must keep away from kids. No want kids get sick. I'll sneak into bedroom. Turn on Nintendo, if I have strength.