Did Jesus Open Carry? A Sermon for the 21st Century
God so loved the world that he gave his ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, and furnished him with his only begotten semi-automatic in case anyone messed with his shit.
Tag: Satire and Parody
Does the Red Wine Industry Fund the Catholic Church?
How does the Catholic Church afford its increasing spending while revenue is declining? Sources say the red wine industry has been paying for product placement.
Welcome to Heaven, You Now Play the Harp
Welcome to Heaven! As I'm sure you can see, we're really quite busy. We hope this pamphlet answers all of your questions about your new musical eternity.
Dumbfounded Priest Officiates Soap Opera Wedding
Oh great, the ring bearer is Bryan, Ashley's TOTALLY PLATONIC best friend and brother of her husband, Ryan. Surely his rugged good looks won't fuel any drama.
Branding Yourself is the Key to Success in Life
How do you distinguish yourself among 14 billion or so other human beings around, all trying to be noticed? Simple: Sell yourself. Be a product. Become your own brand.
Texting Pictures of My Bulge is My Job
By day I practice my John Wayne walk and by night I send my bulge out to my entire contacts list. It's an international duty and a personal calling.
Vlad the Cartoonist, Son of Vlad the Impaler
How could Vlad possibly tell his father he wanted to graduate from UGA, move to LA, and become a cartoonist, not apprentice to become a sadistic mogul?
The Biggest Mistake in Mail Order Catalog History
For the fall catalog, if you can't write me an evocative, "I-need-this-item-or-I-will-surely-die" product description, you're finished. You will never work retail again.
Now That We’ve Broken Up, You Should Get Tested
Dear Katie, I'm writing to tell you to get tested. It seems I've caught something, and not in a fun way, like that time we went fishing at your parent's lake house.
Excerpt from J.K. Rowling’s New Adult Book, “Barry Bowler and the Waltz of Dread”
If not for the massage therapy, Barry Bowler would have been exceptionally down. Doobie's Hair Salon and Massage Parlor was hardly moral, but definitely enjoyable.
As a Clairvoyant, I am Able to— Hey, Where’re You Going?
What, you don't believe in clairvoyants? Well, neither did I. But with this degree of authenticity from DelphiUniversity.com, I assure you my intuition is real.
A Birthday Coup D’Etat: Prince George of Cambridge Turns 1
Prince George wakes up very early on the morning of his first birthday. Unlike other royal babies, he is not shy about his desire to rule, and this time he has a plan.