Dear Match.com, You Could Use a Guy Like Me
Dear Match.com, I think it's time I join your piece of shit website. I was put on this planet to change your ugly member stereotype forever, which is why I'm requesting a free membership.
Tag: Satire and Parody
The Biggest Fight of His Career: Muhammad Ali vs. Poetry
For years Muhammad Ali was challenged by the elusive simile. He was plagued by its power, unable to express his unorthodox fighting style with poignant, poetic beauty.
In the Future There Will Be Swords Again
I am from the future and my people chose me to come back and warn your generation about the oncoming swordslaught. Every horrifying tales of the human downfall involves swords.
A Sucker’s Guide to Sports Terminology
I will not be fooled again, because I have learned to speak sports' hieroglyphically constructed language. Here is my gift to you fellow victims: A Partially Definitive Guide to the Terms of Sports.
Milestone Legal Case: Rudolph v. North Pole Reindeer Team (1964)
Rudolph 'the Red-Nosed Reindeer' Jenkins, famous for being discriminated against because of the color of his nose, and not allowed to join the reindeer team, was in court following the Christmas of 1963.
WVU Co-Ed Forced into Group Studying
Jodie Hampton, a sophomore PE major, has reported that she was forced into participating in a barrage of learning exercises and study groups in the basement of WVU's library.
Greatness Thrust Upon Me
Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone?
How to Be More Expressive and Dynamic
Ever since I started teaching English, I've been struggling to find ways to get my students more excited about the English language.
A Basic History of the Great State of West Virginia
I feel the need to dispel the misconceptions about the theme of what was once my favorite John Denver song and currently the state that I call home. Please enjoy a basic history of the great state of West Virginia.
Girlfriend Wanted
Greetings and hello. My name is Drek Z but my friends call me... Kain. I am a recently single, strapping young man, aged 48, and I am currently looking for a girlfriend. Perhaps you like?
A Modest Wall Street Proposal
How can the markets recover with its hands tied behind its back? The only solution anyone with common sense could come to is to deregulate Wall Street. COMPLETELY.
Acceptance Speech By an Award-Winning Writer
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is an honor that you have all finally decided to recognize my accomplishments this evening. Now SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLES!!