419: A Nigerian Email Confession
Six million dollars for saving the President of Nigeria. For weeks I would be responsible for the life of a man I might never meet. Was I ready for that kind of responsibility?
Tag: Satire and Parody
My First Hogwarts Report Card
Dear Parents: As the school year ends, we are excited to update you on your child’s progress at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The Rise and Rise of Cheese
Some call it the yellow fruit. Some call it the holy friend of ham. Most call it cheese; and all love it, apart from Nazis and terrorists.
So You’ve Decided to Buy an Ed Hardy Shirt
Let me congratulate you on this new chapter in your life, one filled with glitter, embroidery, and fucking girls who like shiny objects (that's you).
Lovely Love Poem
Our love was real. Our love was true. Our love was like a cat that had ample milk to drink in a bowl of purity. Or some weird simile like that, you know?
Can You Be a TV Script Writer?
The following is a test. Read this story and then answer 3 questions. You will then be told whether you may send a sample TV script to the William Morris Agency.
A Letter to Myself at 14 Years Old
How you doing big guy, it's me, Future Bill. Or should I say it's 'us,' Bill. I'm writing you this letter from a spaceship house! Just kidding, the future is terrible.
Five Premature Celebrity Obituaries
In order to avoid being blind-sided by another unexpected celebrity death, I’ve written obituaries for Zach Braff, Jaleel White, the Mythbusters and Flava Flav.
It’s Christmas, Ya’ll (The Pageant Every Church Passed On)
Everyone knows Jesus' story is a complicated one. But do they know tidbits like the fact that Joseph wanted to name him Rick? Get the fun facts in this unauthorized pageant!
Conversation with My Liver: An Intervention
Hey, buddy, it's me, your liver. I need to talk to you about last night. 20 shots of whiskey? What the hell were you thinking? I'm dying here.
Jesus was a Dick
I'm pretty sure Jesus was the guy going, 'My birthday, we're doin' it up Vegas style!' and everyone was thinking, 'Yeah, probably not, asshole.
Fake Charity Begins at Home
Since you can't trust Toys for Tots with your donation, here are five new charities I'd like to see, including Drink for Prostate Cancer and Fantasy Adoption.