Better Responses to the Question “What Do You Do?” When You’re Unemployed
“Oh, I do a little of this, a little of that. Can I be more specific? Yes, but for the sake of my dignity, I’d rather not.”
Tag: Satire and Parody
Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me Twenty Times and That’s a Situation
Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.
RE: The Marriage Pact You Made in High School
Max acknowledges that you are now an out lesbian with a live-in girlfriend and three dogs so he has suggested the following addendums.
For Our Wedding, Please Buy Us Useless Kitchen Shit Off Our Registry
When we envision our future together, we can’t see it unless the $175 egg separator we picked out in Crate & Barrel is there with us.
Beyoncé Concert Report from Someone Who Only Knows Her from “Austin Powers’ Goldmember”
The size of the crowd was shocking. I knew the Austin Powers trilogy was beloved but I never knew this many people particularly liked the third one.
Where to Direct Your HR Issues at Our HR-Less Company
Work Anniversaries: See your manager for a token of our appreciation—a homemade coupon for one (1) weak handshake.
Notable Events from NASA’s Early Space Program
1851: As railroads begin crisscrossing the nation, NASA constructs its own line of over 300 feet of railroad track going straight upward.
Did You Write a Poem About Your Grandmother’s Comb? Open Calls from Rad Litmags That Want to Hear from You
SPLERT seeks original, unpublished work from poets who grew up in Potomac, Maryland but tell people they are from "Rockville."
Tenants Rights, According to Mice
Painting the unit is permitted, provided the tenants do so by stepping in jam and scurrying up the walls.
How to Judge a Book, If Not by Its Cover
Does the book have THE new book smell? Does it have THAT old book smell?
My Metamorphosis into a Monstrous Vermin Went Pretty Great, Actually
“I know you mean well, Dad,” my sister said. “But these days, it’s considered more polite to say ‘enormous insect’ rather than ‘monstrous vermin’.”
As a Video Game NPC, I Am Deeply Concerned About AI
Who’ll want to chat with poor old Yarvik about annual rainfall when they can discuss philosophy of mind or Baroque art?