A Statement from CamelX
Here at CamelX our motto has always been: "No one can believe stuff—unless you say it first.”
Tag: Satire and Parody
How to Stop Teenagers from Making Fun of You in Public
If they say something like, "Nice cowboy hat, asshole," pretend you didn’t hear—even though you're the only asshole wearing one.
The Mafia Introduces Some New Project Management Platforms
You will now need to submit a request through a new app called “Ayyy” where you can send Lorenzo an “Oooo” request which will generate a ticket.
My Work Day, as Envisioned by the Billionaire CEO
Like our CEO wrote in his “Daily Wake-Up” email, all of our cubicles can be temples of productivity.
“Be Careful, the Plate Is Hot” and Other Honest Pointers from Your Server
"Be hip to the fact that your mains won’t be served at the same time. Of course, they could be, but they won’t be."
Would You Rather? Return to Office Edition
Would you rather spend 25% of your paycheck on Everlane’s "Sims 2 Fall/Winter ‘23 collection” or trompe l'oeil mascara onto your face with a free Zoom filter?
My High School Classmate Bought a House—It’s Haunted, but I’m Still Jealous
I think about the cold draft that likely billows through her hallways at night as I sit in this suffocating summer heat.
I’m Paul’s Bunion
When Paul cried as a child, and his tears created the Great Lakes, it was because of me, the bunion pressing in on his other toes.
Sometimes My Desert Island Lair Also Doubles as a Waterpark
What, you’re surprised? Remote lairs and underground redoubts do not pay for themselves.
Despite a Shockingly Low Number of Applicants, You Somehow Did Not Get This Residency
If there was ever a year for you to slip through and get this relatively prestigious residency, it would have been this one.
Survey: Did You Like Our Ad for Anti-Anxiety Medication?
Please describe how you felt after reading the disclaimer, “You’re right—you are getting these ads more often than anyone else. Everyone knows this and is talking about it.”
And Child Spake Unto Dad, “Let My People Go to the Park”
"Take thy breakfast and cast it before Dad, and it shall become a mess upon the floor.” And Child and Toddler did as the LORD commanded.