The Moments When I Realized My Dates Were a Bunch of Spiders in a Trench Coat
“I was intrigued by the mention of fly fishing on your profile. I like fly fishing too!” “Wow! Let me show you a picture of this fish I caught.” “Fish?”
Tag: Satire and Parody
Why I, a 1960s Business Man Having an Affair, Believe Everyone Needs to Return to Office
Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.
Introducing Men 2, the Gender for Men
Finally. A gender for men. Man 2 isn’t your GRANDMOTHER’S GENDER. Or your grandfather’s, strictly speaking.
Come Die on My Boat
There’s also the excitement of trying not to throw up. If you have to vomit, there’s a whole ocean available.
I’m 10 Now, Which Means I’m the Biggest Little Bitch on This Playground
Looking around, all I see are duds. In the sandbox, I see toddlers who don’t even know how to use their own feet.
FAQs About How to Give Women Unsolicited Gym Advice
"It wasn't so much a specific question, but her vibe was like–" DON'T.
A Completely Realistic Beach Visit
Seagulls adorn the scenic sky, but they never get so close that I worry about dodging their droppings or being harassed for a bite of my sandwich.
How to Wash Your Wool Blanket in 10 Simple Steps
The wool fibers prefer an east-to-west cross-breeze coming from a north- and south-facing window.
Ten Little Monkeys, the Psychological Thriller
Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said, “If this is some sort of prank call, it’s not funny. I’m a busy doctor helping patients with real problems.”
I’m the Tall Guy Blocking Your View at a Concert, Here’s What I Want You to Know
I’ve been told that the back of my head is so soft, it's like those $10 holiday blankets you get at Target.
The Real Seagulls of New Jersey, Season 9
Laugh and caw with your favorite Real Seagulls as they whisk newcomer Jenny to Miami for a caliente seawater bender.
OnlyAficionados: The Platform for Stately British Gentlemansluts
Good’morrow to you all. A most gracious welcome to my webbing page. I am Keithly. Behold my rump.