Satire and Parody | Page 5

Tag: Satire and Parody

2:00 PM — The girls have worked up an appetite after all the screaming and feces throwing. Head to bottomless brunch.

A single smudge on an otherwise clean French door? No worries! An entire handprint? It’s a crime scene.

But friend, we are far from alone. We share this space with a legion of bugs.

But I really need to keep my weekends free in case my brother gets the jet skis or NYT Cooking puts out a really bomb 12-hour stew.

The very moment I use my turning signal I will be blasted sky-high. You can imagine the headache this has brought upon me.

Is it even a crime to steal pasta? Oh right, it is.

I like to say we should glorify God in everything we do, but is it really “glorifying” the Lord when you’re sucking major ass in the dodgeball arena?

But please whisper these questions. I fell into this lion’s den at the zoo and the lions are sleeping. I want to keep it that way.

I took an “I Voted” sticker and slapped it on. The anti-participation trophy faction in the stands booed this profusely.

I have to defend the rich, so that in a theoretical future where I become ultra-wealthy, I can benefit the same way they do now.

George Clooney here, I’m reaching out as a supporter of the Democratic party. Your time is valuable, so I’ll be blunt. We’re going to rob a casino.

You programmed the screens to only play "The Fast and the Furious"—my favorite movie... in 2006.