Gas, Grass, or a Poignant Haiku That Makes Me Cry, Nobody Rides for Free
Goes without saying, but no rhyming means no sonnets. I don't care if Shakespeare wrote 154 sonnets; you will be writing zero in this truck.
Tag: Satire and Parody
Terms and Conditions for Dad Taking His Shirt Off This Summer
Dad may not get a little sun. Dad may not “air dry.” Dad may not play his belly like a bongo.
FAQ About Your Genetically Engineered Baby
Is it normal for my baby to be eight feet tall and have laser eyes? It depends on whether or not you bought the deluxe model.
His Royal Highness the Prince Shipwrecks on Fire Island
The Palace suspects madness, black magic, or a bout of Royal amnesia, as His Majesty no longer seems acquainted with his Anglican upbringing.
Unbiased Yelp Review That Has Nothing to Do With the Fact the Restaurant Wouldn’t Accommodate My Sloth
The restaurant would tell you that a lot of my experiences were colored by my sloth, but I disagree. This could happen to anyone, even the slothless.
If You’re Here to Party, Put Your Hands Up for a Quick Head Count for the Fire Marshal
There are just too many beautiful people here tonight! No, really. There are actually too many of you and roughly ten to fifteen people have to leave.
Children’s Birthday Party Themes That Live Up to Their Descriptions
"Trains! Trains! Trains!" The party starts at 2 PM, but could start as late as 2:16 due to a cup that has caught fire on the track.
Pig-Pen Dishes the Dirt on the Peanuts Gang
It’s the story of one man’s life of tears and anguish, obscured by a drawn-on smile and a perennial cloud of dirt.
You’ve Barely Touched Your Mid-Heist Carrot Sticks and Hummus
I didn’t help break into the Banco de España to see these delicious snacks I’ve generously prepared go to waste.
Please Familiarize Yourself with Mr. Satan’s Views Before Calling Yourself a “Devil’s Advocate”
Aside from praying for the catastrophic downfall of the entire human race, Satan's honestly a pretty reasonable guy.
Human Sunbathing Explained to the Aliens
No, the sun does not have any terrestrial healing powers, but it can fry your skin and inflict life-threatening disease.
We’re Offering 10 Percent Off If This Golden Corral Turns into a Food Fight Warzone
If you find yourself eating our classic pot roast and one of our comfortable and sturdy chairs flies by your head, please do not be alarmed.