I’ve Lived Longer than Any Dog Ever
In the eyes of a dog, I am nothing less than an eternal being existing beyond the constraints of matter and time. So where's my treat for being a good boy?
Tag: Satire and Parody
I Insist You Stay with Me, and You’re Going to Hate It
I only have dry toast. Hope you like millet bread. I’ll just cut the mold off, and we’ll be good to go.
It Is I, the Toddler Who Values Financial Literacy Due to NFTs
I was telling the other toddlers about how if they ever plan to retire, they’ll need real dough, not Play-Doh.
We Do Not Sit Young Families Under Hulk’s Penis
Some things just can’t be fixed with free waffle fries.
Dear Landlord: I Cannot Be Held Responsible for the Coyote-Shaped Hole in the Wall
In this instance, the coyote was blasted through said wall following a violent explosion of his own devising.
This Mirror Is So Relatable
The kind of stuff that happens on the mirror is exactly the kind of stuff I deal with every day.
I Think My Boyfriend Is About to Propose or Kill the President
All the signs are there. Darren’s always said our relationship is “the one perfect thing in this godforsaken hellhole of a country.”
My Last Thoughts as My Chair Tipped Over Backwards That One Time in 3rd Grade
Tic Tac Toe: a clever way to tell a girl you like her?
It’s Okay CNN, My Streaming Service, Natework, Couldn’t Find an Audience Either!
My initial thought was to upload old home movies of my clarinet recitals and junior varsity soccer games.
I Actually Do Have Time for Your Sick Little Games
I’ve since had a cancellation, opening a slot when I actually COULD play one of your sick little games.
We Are Mushrooms and We Demand Your Respect
Pomegranates? The fruit of the elite. They hold onto their seeds like "La La Land" tried to hold onto the Oscar in 2017.
Introducing the Fantasy Card Game, “Mothers: The Maddening”
Players assume the role of tired wizards and cast spells, and summon creatures to do their bidding and help fold laundry.