Satire and Parody | Page 72

Tag: Satire and Parody

I suppose oysters are a noted aphrodisiac, but even those could never overpower the terrifying sight of your lover’s haircut.

Here in Human Resources, we are consistently e-applauding each and every one of our hard-working, self-sacrificing rockstars.

There are five guys on our offense whose only job is to protect the quarterback. Don't take their failure out on me.

If you ate all that, we’re astonished you are alive to read this notice. Your arteries must be as hard as bricks.

My degree in the Art History of Bookbinding has proved utterly useless, even in the bookbinding industry.

So utterly immersive, so totally believable, so deeply transporting that you just might think you are in Sin City.

When it’s clear the patron isn’t saying “when” anytime soon and your mind starts to wander.

Once the chardonnay finishes aging in early 2039, we need a little more labor out of you before your first check.

You can spend a fortune on a professional decorator, or you can hire us, We Do It With Dogs.

Lethargy, or complanata torporem, meaning “flattened by torpor.” Use this defense when you’re desperately late out the door because it’s a cold.

The Instant Pot is everything you want in a partner: dependable, easy to understand, warm, generous, creative, talented, and great in the kitchen!

Today’s Opposite Day was triggered by my friend’s child, Kalley, who expressed that I "had a nice haircut… on Opposite Day."