SORRY I HAVE TO YELL OVER THE MUSIC IN THIS NIGHTCLUB BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE SUCCUMBING TO ENNUI BRO
LISTEN BRO. JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS COME TO ME WHEN YOU’RE FEELING THIS WAY BRO.
Tag: Satire and Parody
A Call to Retire the Phrase “Have a Safe Flight”
How does one appropriately reply to “have a safe flight”? “I, too, hope I make it to my destination intact.”
We Are Discontinuing Your Favorite Underwear
But our new line of Terra® products is now made of cost-saving, eco-friendly burlap, with ties and closures of jute twine!
History’s Great Orators Segue Awkwardly into Plugs for Squarespace
That’s where SquareSpace comes in. For just nine score and nine cents, you can receive six months’ subscription, plus a free domain name.
I’m Your 40-Ounce Water Bottle, and This Has Been an Emotional Rollercoaster
I started to worry once I took a few tumbles onto the driveway. The damage was limited—I am made of steel—but the emotional injury is everlasting.
Welcome to Friendly Skies; Get Ready to Be Punched in the Face
Whatever your personal weird fucking deal is, it won’t end well for you, so best not try to start it with us.
For a Nominal Fee, I’ll Scream at the School Board on Your Behalf
I’ll scream your name as many times as you’d like, or, as a new feature, I’ll rip my shirt off to reveal another shirt with a picture of you screaming.
Your Slack Wrapped 2021 Is Here!
You spent 49 hours listening to our ear-piercing message alert sound…
I Traded in My Standing Desk for a Careening-Around-A-Corner Desk and My Productivity Has Soared!
It was fantastic! In the first week, I knocked over the office water cooler 36 times!
I’d Be the Coolest Guy Ever If It Wasn’t for My Deep Respect for Authority
I never snuck out because unfortunately, my parents understood that late-night parties were an integral part of a teenager’s socialization.
Sesame Street’s First Cinephile Muppet Is an Attack on Our Nation’s Core Values
After learning that Big Bird’s top four films on Letterboxd were American, Jeremy forced Big Bird to undergo something called “Bergman Boot Camp.”
We Can’t Open the Cafe Until Someone Comes Up with a Clever Name for Our Wifi Network
You sit down with a macchiato to check Instagram, so you go to join the Wifi, and instead of a clever name, you find yourself logging on to "ATT117x"?