Church of the Exquisite Guilt
Pray especially for those of us who have screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE" at our children.
Tag: Satire and Parody
Medically Speaking, Loneliness Is Just as Deadly as Smoking? So Yeah, You Could Say That I Like to Live on the Wild Side, Baby
Yeah, I’m the Leonardo Da frickin’ Vinci of avoiding meaningful human interactions.
What I Imagine Happens at My Senator’s Office upon Receiving an Email from Me
This constituent definitely knows what she's talking about and in no way just copy-pasted talking points from an out-of-date email forward!
I Was the Lemur Handler on “Zoboomafoo” and My NDA Just Expired
I didn’t go to Tisch so I could buy cocaine for a lemur. Plus, lemurs need three times as much snow to get going.
Kickstarter Update #37 – Our 3D Printed Water Bottles and Co-founder Are Being Held Hostage by Pirates
From what Eric told me before his cell phone cut out, these bottles are entirely worth the extra eight months of R&D.
A Letter to Management Written by Your Disgruntled Dog
This new hire, a human-in-training or “cute smushy baby," has been rude, selfish, and has made zero meaningful contributions to the company.
If You Wish to Print a Document, You Must Pass These Six Trials
You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
Demands from the Newly Organized Union of Hero Dogs
Subsidies of children in wells: Kids aren’t placing themselves in imminent danger far from the attention of their parents/guardians anymore.
Our Artisanal Tacos Are So Damn Good You’ll Happily Hand Over Your Identity as Payment
What do we do with all the identities people pay with? That’s none of your business. They were handed over in a totally legitimate transaction.
Seven Reboot Ideas from Nickelodeon’s Head of Development
ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENT?: Now in their forties, our cast has come together to exchange scary stories about relationships and marital troubles.
A Preview of the Home Depot Streaming Services Original Content
Bob Vila: Nazi Hunter: Bob Vila is back, but he’s done fixing old houses; he’s fixing the errors of the Nuremberg trials.
Let’s Talk About Why We All Hate the Beatles
My kids like the Beatles. How am I supposed to criticize them for their garbage taste if they are also brought to tears by "Happiness is a Warm Gun?"