I Meant to Attach My Resume, Not My Manifesto About Eating People
The document that I sent you by mistake, “Human Meat and the Future of Farming,” may seem like a confession, but I assure you it is not.
Tag: Satire and Parody
ACLU of Gotham Press Release Re: People v. Batman, City of Gotham PD
"I didn’t even know it was a crime. I worked down at the docks. I had no idea I was helping smuggle in the Scarecrow’s neurotoxins."
Your Final Semester of Dental School Will Focus Primarily on the Care and Maintenance of Your Future Office Aquarium
We will cover advanced topics in endodontics, and the selection, upkeep, and disposal of the countless tropical fish in your new dental office.
Increasingly Desperate Marketing Emails from a Start-Up Guy
As you already know from my #startupgrind Instagram posts, I’ve been hard at work on an exciting new business venture!
I’m the Pinch Pot You Made in Third Grade—Why Won’t Your Mother Let Me Die?
I looked around: Pristine bowls, with smooth edges, not a pinch in sight. My exterior sports at least seven visible fingerprints and a hole that slowly leaks.
Old Friend, We Sure Have Made Something of Ourselves
You with your magnificent house you built yourself, two young healthy children, and a partner who loves you for who you are, and me with my podcast.
Rhode Island Would Like to Kindly Request Your Respect
We would like to request that you start treating us like the grown-up state we are. We bring you Nerf guns and have contributed so much to history!
This Blacksmith’s Forge Is the Perfect Family-Friendly Summer Activity
We’ve got the perfect way to reconnect: Let’sSmith, an iron forge the whole family can enjoy. Are you ready for Hot Ore Summer?
How to Install a New Air Conditioner Without Going to Prison for Involuntary Manslaughter
As long as one person is really big and the other person is kind of wirey, you can replace an air conditioner.
Why This Camping Trip Is the Best Way to Honor the Teens Who Were Murdered Here
Now I know some of you were disturbed by the creepy old gas station attendant who insisted on giving us his shotgun.
Idioms and the Recurring Nightmares That Make Me Shout Them as I Wake Up
“Bite the bullet!” -- I am directing Rambo 6 and Sylvester Stallone is being very disobedient.
How to Protect Your Stadiums from the Swarm of Sports Fans Emerging after 16 Months
Badly behaving sports fans (A.K.A. “Brood W”) have exploded in population due to their inability to behave in public after their long hibernation.