I, Skeletor, Lord of Evil, Have a Message for the Republican Electorate
No matter what I do, you keep supporting me. When I say, “I help no one but myself!”, you cheer! Why!? That means I won’t help you!
Tag: Politics
I Am Your City Council Representative, and Your Concerns Matter to Me
As an upstanding member of this community, I hope you’ll believe me that I am, definitively, a human flesh man, and not any kind of insect homunculus.
Actual Episodes of PBS’s “Frontline” but with More Interesting Plots
"Plunder!" (1990) Everything you've ever wanted to see plundered is plundered big time on this episode.
The Most Elusive and Devious Threat to the North Korean Summit is Carmen Sandiego
Trump’s plan to top the gesture is to acquire a bigger, more ornate envelope! The world’s largest! Carmen Sandiego can't resist a prize like this.
God Sends Hate Mail to Mike Pence
As a result of that whole "free will" blunder, any direct divine intervention is off the table. We did, however, agree to a compromise arrangement.
A Letter to Jordan Peterson from Lobsters
We’d like to pinch some sense into you with our deadly pincers, but we fear that this will only make you reach some new, unfathomably stupid conclusion.
Other New Policies Recently Approved By NFL Owners
Players who take, like, 20 napkins and then use, like, just two napkins and throw away the other 18 will be ejected from the game.
I Will Be Moving the Vatican Embassy to Heaven
Embassies, so complicated. So complex, I would say. Where do they go, who works there, what country are they technically in?
Open Letter from a White Gay
Did you assume it was easy for all of us to bleach our hair two months after coming out? No. But we all did it. Every single one of us.
The Many Phones of Michael Cohen
7. Michael Cohen calls his tailors with this phone. When ordering suits he tends to use the phrase “make someone notice me, please.”
We’re Recruiting for Our Libertarian Utopia!
We had a few incidents in which some misused their legally acquired, weaponized smallpox strains, but that's a small price to pay for freedom.
Please Vote For Me, I’m Exactly Who You Said You Wanted
Some of you have commented on social media asking, “Why are you an angry lesbian who’s trying to take a nice man’s place at the Congress? Also, fat.”