Dear Sluts,
Take off the Ugg boots, the windshield wiper sunglasses and the Flintstone skirts. Stop going to a tanning bed. Stop bleaching your hair. Stop getting drunk and sucking every dick in the room. And for Christ sake, read a fucking book.
Cosmo doesn't count.
Glamour doesn't count.
Teen Vogue DOESN'T FUCKING COUNT.
Trust me ladies, when you get some fucking class, you'll be much more attractive.
Or, to put it in words you can understand: you're not “bringin sexy back” looking like a stupid whore.
Love,
Nick Gaudio
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